Detour to Salt Lake

So I hear that some of you want to hear about my crazy flight's...Where do I begin?
It all started bad by having to leave the house at 3:30 am to get to Portland to make a 6am flight to Alabama. I got on just fine and with no problems with the exception of sitting between a couple of large people I was breathing a sigh or relief. I had my drink of soda and dove into my snack bag (dang airline with no more snacks) and got out my book to read when all of a sudden the lights and bells to summons the flight attendants started to go crazy. 5 rows up an old man fell dead into the isle. I pilot comes over the intercom and asks if there is a doctor on board and of course there is NOT! So they start CPR and preform that for about 35 minutes while they make an emergency landing to Salt Lake. I have never done a landing that fast. We made a nose dive for SL and landed a ways from the airport to meet the medics. After they got the man off the plane they had to refuel and then do a bio hazard clean up and get us off to Dallas. When I got off the plane in Dallas I had to run up to the sky train and ride for about to the next gate which was FOREVER away and run to my next gate. When I got to the gate she asked my if I was Lisa and when I said yes she told me to get on. No scanning my ticket or nothing. I got on the plane and they closed the door behind me and it was taking off before I got my buckle on. Knowing how far I had to run and that they took off before I had my buckle I thought, there was no way my luggage would have made my flight...but it did.
Flight home...delayed forever, had to change airlines, got the secondary search, flight delayed again and almost missed my next flight again.... But I made it.